


The White Wolf vs. Potty Training (again)

by Introvertatheart



Series: The White Wolf's New Life [16]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, potty training
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:55:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29571366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Introvertatheart/pseuds/Introvertatheart
Summary: Steve has decided it has come time that Bucky faced his fears with potty training. Bucky and his trauma say otherwise.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: The White Wolf's New Life [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1952947
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	The White Wolf vs. Potty Training (again)

**Author's Note:**

> If the mentions of toileting bother you, don't read. I didn't really describe Bucky actually going. It described more of him sitting on it.
> 
> Also I don't have children, so I just twisted this a bit to Bucky's trauma.

In the almost two years Steve has had Bucky, his recovery has seen more positives than negatives. Mentally, it was still an ongoing process. Physically, he was doing much better than when Steve first got him. He had a good diet, sometimes. His weight was finally balancing out. 

One thing Steve needed to seriously work on is personal hygiene, mainly toileting. This was Bucky's major problem in the bathroom. The shower was no big deal, Bucky loved it. He was still figuring out scrubbing but he wasn't refusing. Toileting was more of a mental issue than physical because every time Steve mentioned it Bucky acted up. But right now it was becoming crucial that he comes out of diapers because Bucky was almost four and Steve was worried that since Bucky would be going out more to socialize when it warmed a bit more, he should be able to use the public bathroom like a big boy.

"Bucky, can we talk about something?" Steve asked. Bucky looked at him. They, Chase and Harley were sitting in Bucky's sensory room. "We need to address the toilet."

"No."

"Buck, you are almost four. We need to start making a change." Bucky continued to shake his head. Steve sighed then looked through his tablet for anything helpful. This was going to be difficult because they were fighting trauma and learning through trauma was not easy for anyone, especially trauma like Bucky's. "Bucky, I think you will like being in pullups and having more access to the bathroom more. Don't you want to take care of yourself a bit more?" Bucky just looked at him. Steve knew candy would work only up to a certain point but there was a barrier that wasn't breaking. 

Steve was determined to break that barrier soon.

"I think there is a way to get you potty trained. I think you are at a point where you can recognize the feeling but you are mentally scared of the toilet. I think we can work around that." 

"No."

"Okay," Steve did a little research then something struck out at him. A chart. If the child goes either number one or two at least five times, they get a special prize like stickers. Bucky wasn't interested in stickers, his reward system was candy based. Maybe instead of stickers, he could do special treats like cookies and ice cream. Yeah, that might help. "I have an idea, let's go downstairs." They all went downstairs to Steve's office. Steve busied himself on the computer while Bucky busied himself by coloring on the white paper. Suddenly the printer came to life. It spat out a paper with lines. "Now we go to the kitchen." They went to kitchen, Steve stuck the paper to refrigerator with a magnet. "This is Bucky's potty chart. So whenever you go one or two in the toilet, you get a sticker and once you get five you'll get a special treat like ice cream."

"Ice cream."

"Yeah, I'll even be easy on you so every time you try or sit on the toilet, you'll get a piece of candy. Sound like a deal?" Steve held out his hand. Bucky didn't understand that so Steve held up a high five and Bucky high fived him. "This seals our deal. You try, your get a reward. You go successfully five times, you get a special treat. I won't take anything away if there is an accident. It's progress. Okay?"

"Kay."

"Do you think you can try to sit down on the toilet first?" Bucky somewhat shook his head, Steve decided to test his limits first. He got two bags of jellybeans, they went back upstairs but into Steve's bathroom. "Can you try to sit on it?"

"No. No." He backed up a little. Steve gently got his hand to stop him from leaving. Bucky whined then shook his head. 

"It will not hurt you, I promise." Bucky didn't care about it hurting him. It was something else that was going on. "Bucky." 

"They hurt Bucky."

Steve knew that was the source of his trauma. "Bucky, they're aren't coming back. I won't hurt you for trying." Bucky began to cry and pull. Steve wasn't letting him go, Bucky bit Steve's hand which caused him to let go. Bucky quickly left the room. Steve sighed and looked at his arm, a genuine fear bite. This trauma maybe more deeper than Steve thought.

He needed professional help. He called Bucky's therapist.

"Hello, Mr. Rogers." Dr. Simon greeted.

"Hi, I'm sorry to call on the weekend but I'm having trouble with trying to get Bucky to use the bathroom."

"Ah, I can see why this would be a problem. How is it going so far?"

"Well, I'm not having much progress getting him on the toilet. I think he recognizes the feeling but when it comes to even trying to sit on it, he's like deathly afraid of it."

"Oh."

"I know there's trauma behind it. They used to beat him when he had an accident, kept him from using the bathroom when he needed to and hit him when he asked."

"That would make a lot of sense as to why he's afraid to go."

"We did work on potty training last year but we stopped after a week and I will admit that it was my fault that I let him regress on that. I just want him to do better with himself."

"I can understand especially with everything that happened to you in the past year that he might have regressed in some areas."

"Today, I brought it up and he was scared. He bit me when I tried to get him to sit down."

"That's not good. I understand that Bucky would have such trauma towards the toilet but I am concerned that if this trauma is so deeply ingrained that Bucky is willing to fight that we may need to skip toilet training. We don't want to escalate his fear to the point where he think he needs to fight to avoid it."

"Right."

"Have you set up a reward system for him?"

"I just did today, if he tried to go or even sat on it he gets candy. If he did it five times, he can get ice cream."

"And does it seem like this is making him interested?"

"For a few minutes but it's like the trauma barrier is holding him back from wanting to try."

"I think for one we need to make him understand that the bathroom itself is safe. Nothing or no one is going to hurt him while he is in there. I believe you said his favorite thing is the shower or bath but still let's work on making it safe. Bring in what make him feel safe. His favorite toys, his blankets you know just something that will make him understand it's safe here. Work on that for a few days and we will see about talking about actually using it."

"Right, thank you." Steve hung up then went to look for Bucky. He went in the room and noticed a tail coming from under the bed. "Bucky."

"Away." He mumbled. Steve crouched down and looked under the bed. Bucky was curled into himself, covering his face and Harley was happily laying next to him. Chase could only squeeze his head under there because most of the room was taken by Bucky and Harley.

"Bucky, I'm sorry I didn't mean to push you so hard. I thought we could push through this. I'm sorry." Bucky peeked out from under his hands. "Do you feel safe under here?" Bucky nodded. "I would too." Bucky moved his hands down. He had been crying. "Can you come out so we talk?"

"Mad at Bucky?"

"Never mad. I'm just concerned." Steve smiled at him. Bucky looked at him then crawled out from under the bed. Steve held him then sat on top of the bed. "Listen, I'm not trying to force you to go to the bathroom but you're at that age where you need to move out of diapers. Think of it like this, we go out somewhere in public and you have to go. You can use the bathroom like a big boy."

"Big boy."

"Yeah. I know the toilet is scary so before we work on getting you sit in it, we are going to make you feel safe in there. Okay?"

"Kay."

"Let's go sit in the bathroom. Where's your blankets and toys?" 

"Room." He pointed to his sensory room. Steve picked him up and brought him in the sensory room. He got his weighted blanket, Lamby, Star, Fin and the two mini dinosaurs that have yet to be named. They went back to Steve's bathroom and sat down next to the bathroom. Bucky still looked terrified even when he wasn't on it. 

"You're okay, you're doing really good." Bucky whined then tapped his thighs. An indication that he was going to start hitting himself. "Don't hit. Let me see your hands." Bucky gave Steve his hands. He massaged his flesh wrist and gripped his metal wrist. "You're doing good." Bucky whined then shook his head. A stim rather than a refusal. "How about a song?"

"Song?"

"Yeah, Friday play my mediation soundtrack." A soft medley played. Bucky looked at Steve then side eyed the toilet. "Don't focus on that today, just focus on me." Bucky whined then laid his head on Steve's lap. "You're safe, sweet boy. I promise." Steve rubbed Bucky's back until he fully relaxed.

After thirty peaceful moments of sitting on the bathroom floor, Steve saw Bucky had fallen asleep and laid him on the bed. Steve was hungry but he was worried about Bucky. He hated to stress Bucky out but this was to better his life.

After Bucky slept for an hour and had a quick lunch, they sat in the bathroom again. This time for sensory play. Steve found the bath bombs that Peter gave Bucky for Christmas. 

"So all you have to do is fill the bath tub." Steve filled the tub halfway. "Now drop it." Bucky dropped the thing in the water. The weird thing floated around then started to dissolve. Bucky smiled and put his hand in the water. "Is that cool?" Bucky laughed then played in the water. As Bucky kept his hands busy, Steve went over to the toilet and flushed it to see how Bucky would react. Bucky looked at him then went back to fidgeting. "Is that scary?" Bucky nodded. Steve thought about it more, he was scared but wasn't scared enough to run away. Maybe a distraction could help.

"Daddy play with Bucky." Bucky asked.

"Not right now, but can we try something?"

"No. No."

"How about a deal? We do the task for a minute then we can make cookies?" Bucky somewhat nodded. Steve picked him up then sat on the toilet with Bucky sitting on his lap. 

"No. No." Bucky tried to get away. Steve got Bucky's favorite book.

"Touch this." Steve tried to distract him but Bucky was actually shaking because of fear. "Buck, it's okay. Take your deep breaths." Bucky clinged on to Steve's neck, he was trembling now. "You're okay, I'm right here." Steve rubbed his back. Bucky whined then touched the book. "Good job. Harley wants scratches." Bucky touched Harley's ears then touched Chase. "Good job, see not so scary." Bucky whined again then signed all done. Steve got up and brought him in the bathroom. "I'm so proud of you." Bucky didn't look like he was convinced about it. "Do you want to make cookies?" Bucky nodded. They went downstairs and made little cookies. The rest of the day went by smoothly, Bucky was a bit off for the rest of the day. He wanted deep pressure from Steve and Harley so after dinner they stayed in Bucky's room until he fell asleep. 

After Bucky fell asleep, Steve stayed up to figure out another method of working around the toilet training. He's done what he could with food and making it feel safe but Bucky was just too traumatized. Steve hated to think that his trauma would be forever holding him back. But everything changed with time and that is what Bucky needed.

After five days of continuous training with the toilet and a violent meltdown, Steve was starting to think Bucky wouldn't get it. His therapist explained it could take months for Bucky to even feel comfortable to go. Even if that was so, the government was being touchy about him about him this year and if something major happened Bucky would regress and they would be right back at square one. 

They moved at Bucky's pace with the toilet everyday. Sitting near the toilet and letting Bucky flush just to get comfortable with the noise. Steve was finding that Bucky was okay if someone was within his eyesight. So far both dogs and Steve had to be with him.

Today came with a breakthrough. Steve was in his office and Bucky was sitting on his rocking chair in the living room. Steve heard footsteps then Bucky came in the room.

"Hey sweetheart."

"Go potty."

"You need to go potty?" Bucky nodded. Steve tried not to smile but this was the first time Bucky had independently asked. "Okay, let's go to the bathroom down here." Steve brought him to the bathroom next to the gym. They haven't really trained to use this bathroom but it would be okay if he tried. 

"Daddy stay."

"I'm right here." Bucky was still shaking when he sat on the toilet but this was better than trembling a few days ago. It took a few minutes but eventually Bucky did go. "Good job, I'm so proud of you." Bucky somewhat smirked. "Wash your hands." Bucky washed his hands, Steve grabbed a towel before Bucky could shake his hands which was apparently a new thing he did after he washed his hands. 

"Bucky go potty."

"Bucky did go potty. I'm so proud you. This deserves a celebration."

"Ice cream."

"We can do that." They went in the kitchen. Steve got the ice cream while Bucky got the bowls. "I'll even be generous and give you candy with ice cream." Steve put two scoops in the bowl then got a bag of jellybeans. Bucky smiled then flapped his hands. "You can come sit with me in the office." Bucky got his bowl and they sat in the office.

"Daddy doing?"

Steve looked at him then smiled. "I am finishing up paying some bills." Steve wasn't paying bills, he was looking for something for his birthday. "Buck, do you know the sign for potty?" Bucky shook his head. Steve typed on his computer then nodded. "Okay, make the sign for 't'." Bucky made the sign. "Now shake your hand." Bucky shook his hand. "That is the sign for potty. We'll do this again when you have to go, but you're quick learner with hand signs." Then his phone rang. "Oh, look it's mommy. Hi, Nat."

"Rogers, I haven't heard from you in a week. Is everyone alive over there?"

"Everyone is still alive. Come say hi, Buck." 

"Hi mommy."

"Hey sweetie, everything okay?"

"Yeah." 

"Tell mommy the good news." Steve poked him.

"Bucky go potty."

"You went potty? He's toilet trained?" Nat asked.

"Still in training but he asked and went in the toilet."

"Oh, Bucky, good job, I know that must be hard on you but that's so good. Do you want me to tell the others?"

"You can tell Sam and maybe Rumlow but I'm afraid if it gets to Tony, he'll be overdramatic about it and make Bucky nervous again." Steve said.

"Yeah, we don't want that. We'll I'm very proud of you sweetheart. And I'm glad everything is okay, I get worried when I don't hear from you for a while."

"You sound like a mom, Nat."

"Whatever, bye boys." They said their goodbyes. Bucky went back to eating his ice cream. Steve went back to researching a few things.

After they finished ice cream, Bucky initiated a wrestling match. Steve didn't deny him, so they wrestled for fifteen minutes. They were doing fine until Bucky started biting Steve on his arm. "Buck, quit biting." Bucky smiled then bit Steve's wrist. "All done." Bucky let go then tilted his head. "You have to stop biting, I don't like that." Bucky whined then bit his own wrist. "Are you hungry?"

"Hungry."

"How about something quick, like a pizza?"

"Pizza. Pizza." Bucky got up and sat in his rocking chair.

"Okay, luckily we have a frozen pizza. Not my first choice but it's about to rain in five minutes. Can you go let the puppies out?" Bucky smiled and shook his head. He was in his chair and he wasn't moving. "Dogs out." Steve opened the door, letting Harley and Chase outside. He went in the kitchen and put a pizza in the oven. He went back to check on Bucky, he was fidgeting with his hands again. 

"Bucky wants candy."

"Bucky can wait after dinner for sweets." 

"Bucky wants."

"Bucky waits." Steve frowned at him, that stopped him from asking again. Bucky flapped his hands, Steve went to check on the dogs, it started to rain. "Come on dogs." Steve said. The dogs came in then went in the kitchen. Bucky also came in the kitchen. 

"Daddy?"

"Yes, Buck?"

"Go potty."

"Okay," Steve took the pizza out the oven then brought him to the bathroom. Bucky went to the bathroom, Steve turned his back for one second Bucky took that opportunity to shake his hands. "We are going to work on that." Steve dried his hands. They went in the kitchen and ate. Bucky laughed during dinner at practically nothing. Steve wasn't sure what the behavior was, but he was sure that Bucky just loved pizza night. 

"Bucky wants candy."

"Bucky can get sweets if he cleans the table." Steve loved to use Bucky's third person speaking against him, it usually worked. Bucky pouted but got up and put his bowl in the sink. He got a wet towel and wiped the table. Steve cleaned the dishes then put them in the dishwasher.

"Daddy, doggies fighting." Bucky whined. Steve turned around, the dogs weren't fighting.

"Not fighting, just wrestling. Like we do." Harley was obviously at an advantage because of her size, weight and having all four legs. But history has proven people and animals with missing limbs come out stronger than before. Bucky has constantly proved that.

They were probably scaring Bucky because they were growling and showing their teeth. But it's all in good fun.

"Let's go upstairs and get ready for bed." Bucky was already going upstairs. Steve went upstairs and saw Bucky was already in the bathroom. Steve got Bucky's pajamas then went in the bathroom. Bucky was flapping his hands around, Steve called this his happy shower dance. Bucky didn't know how to start the shower but Steve assumed when he did, his water bill would be going up. 

Bucky sat in the shower for his usual fifteen minutes while Steve got his medicine ready. "Bucky, all done." 

"No."

Steve reached in and turned the shower off. Bucky whined as Steve dragged him out the shower. Steve got him dressed and handed him his milk and medicine. "Before we head to bed, can you try going potty one more time?"

"No. No." Bucky was very adamant about that and Steve wasn't going to push him into trying. Steve got Bucky's brush then they went in Bucky's room. He brushed out Bucky's hair which was passed his shoulder blades now. It was in need of a trim but that was a two person job with Bucky.

"Hey, I'm so proud of you today. You're conquering your fears and you're becoming stronger every day."

"Big boy."

"You are becoming a big boy. I'm very proud of you, maybe next time we go to the store we can look at pull ups."

"Ups." Steve finished brushing his hair then tucked Bucky in. He rubbed Bucky's wrist, a common routine.

"Do you feel safe?"

"Bucky safe."

Steve smiled at him. "I'm glad you feel safe here. This is your home and I don't want anyone to take that away." Bucky smiled then got Steve's hand and put it on his head. Steve rubbed Bucky's head until he fell asleep. Steve kissed his forehead then closed the bedroom. He went in his room and thought about a few things. Bucky's birthday was a few weeks away and he already had an idea on what to do. Bucky was making progress on potty training and hopefully they can get him fully trained to be independent by the end of the year. This was all at Bucky's pace.

He heard a whine and saw Chase put a paw on his lap. "I'm going to keep this a safe place for all of you." Steve scratched his head then sighed. The next few days would be furthering Bucky's confidence with the toilet. And soon they would try other restrooms out in public. But right now Steve was proud that Bucky was becoming stronger every day.

**Author's Note:**

> Also, we're a month away from FATW. So freaking excited. WandaVision is legitimately freaking me out.


End file.
